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Yes, You Can Cheat When You’re Poly

Yes, You Can Cheat When You’re Poly

Yes, You Can Cheat When You’re Poly

When people think of the word “cheating”, they instantly assume that a person is having sex with someone that is not their partner. In fact, many people assume that polyamory is just a nice name for cheating. es amourfactory legГ­timo This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Polyamory is, in short, consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy. This goes directly against the idea of cheating. Cheating is non-consensual, in that the person being cheated on did not consent to non-monogamy, and is unable to make informed decisions about their sexual and emotional health. Cheating is not ethical; after all, a great many cultures and belief systems consider it the one of the biggest betrayals you can commit. And cheating is most definitely not a responsible thing to do.

I would go so far as to say that cheating is worse in a polyamorous relationship than a monogamous one. While it is still a horrible thing to do in a monogamous relationship, to cheat in polyamory is somewhat bizarre – you have an opportunity to be open in multiple ways, and the option to discuss and renegotiate the relationships, and yet you choose to do something outside of those options, something you agreed not to do.

Cheating is Breaking Rules.

I have known people that have done utterly baffling things when it comes to polyamory and cheating. A friend of mine had a rule with her boyfriend that they could each only date people of the same sex, and yet he cheated on her with another woman. This could have been renegotiated before he slept with the other woman and it would have solved the cheating problem.

A very common rule is a “one penis policy” or OPP, where an established couple, generally between a heterosexual man and bisexual woman, opens up the relationship, where both the man and the woman in that relationship can date other woman, but the woman is not allowed to date other men. While this sort of agreement can be all sorts of problematic, the point is that this agreement was made, and should be kept if you agree to it.

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